Up The Chute

Expect many stories like this. I've seen people of all ages, genders, and orientations come in with the same complaint:

"I've got something stuck in my butt."

Better yet are the ones who come in complaining of stomach pains or constipation...like we aren't going to find what is hidden in their ass. Get with it, people...it's going to come out...literally...whether you like it or not. Here's a short list of things I've found on x-ray that people have crammed in their backside:

Lightbulb
Fish
Box of toothpate (with the mtellic "Crest" logo perfectly visible
Snake
A can of beans
Gerbils (the rumors are true)
Dildo
Vibrator
Coat hanger
Cucumber
Medicine bottle
Vase
Snake
Lamp
2-liter of soda filled with marbles
Pool balls
Inflatable bat
Zucchini
Summer squash
Flashlight
Spatula
Fork

Ah yes...the list goes on.

And as you may or may not know, x-rays are similar to pictures...if you take one of something that is moving, it's going to be blurry. We figures this out after having a Paul Sr. lookalike come in after a motocycle wreck with a vibrator up his ass...still turned on.

Moral: If you're gonna stick something up your arse, make suer you can get the fucker out.